“Roses or the heart of gold”

thin line

“There is a thin line between a long standing bond of friendship and a relationship where there is a mutual consent to call it something, but where does it all change, or where does it all begin?

Being born an Indian, the emotional bonding we establish with anyone (other than our parents) we share more than just a “Hello” and “How are you”, is very different from how people from different countries around the globe probably treat it.

Here, it somehow surfaces with the dire need of a self justification over a period of time of what really seperates the two; Friendship or perhaps a relationship. 

Personally, I do think there is a lot of difference on a cultural & emotional level, but when it comes to two people of the opposite sexes, born in a society like that of India, there isn’t much difference really to the most of us. You’d buy a box of chocolates for either of the both, be it a person you would rather share your life with or the person you share your thoughts with, but then you start thinking why and the pandemonium strikes.

beautiful_dead_roses_by_belilmalebridia-d8nz2ha

And when/if you aren’t blessed with someone to share your life with *yet*, there isn’t much distinction you can draw between the two (in majority of the cases, whether or not you choose to agree). We’re in a culture like that after all, sure you’ve seen parents marry two childhood friends, or close family friends’ kids…well it’s a common sight in a culture like ours for all the right or the wrong reasons.

Coming back to distinction, Senseless much? Haha, well not really.

Ask yourself a simple question. What is a relationship and why do you need one?

search_booleanLet me help you with a Boolean search string with the exclusion option (to those of you who don’t know the Boolean, this is what happens when you don’t concentrate in class, Haha. Any which ways, it’s okay, just stay with me on this one) to help you understand how much you can really balance out when the two are superimposed-

Relationship AND/OR Friendship.

‘Understanding’ AND “Emotional connect” AND “Able to have a conversation with” AND “Ice Cream” AND ‘Movie’ AND “A companion” OR “Good Looking maybe” AND “A psychological connect” AND “Being able to speak with when feeling low or happy” AND “Always there for you” AND “Be completely open with” OR “Physical needs as it really doesn’t matter” *like yes really!!!* AND “Non-judgemental”

Exclude Keywords: Physical needs, Intimacy, Kisses….etc. (the NOT boolean)

*basically expectations*

Now tell me, keeping the exclusions apart which still is an expression of what we call love, but comes under expectations for the most part, where do you really draw the thin line and why should you rather not spend the rest of your life with a person so close to you, who you’d rather call ‘a friend’, but not a “Life Partner”.

Then comes the real controversy, how different is love from friendship. The critics would say, love is a feeling that brings together two hearts and creates a bond that lasts forever, and that happens only in relationships, not friendships.

Hold that thought, I want to call that B.S.

It is rather true when they say relationships last longer when the bond begins with friendship, and further progresses to an understanding of the two on a psychological level that lasted over a period of time, and definitely so on a cultural level. Then why is it that you hesitate and just treat the two like opposite terminals of the Metro? There is love in both cases ain’t it?

a43a4-friendship-love-quotes

Before you come up with the theory, let me clear the air on this, I am speaking with regards to that one very special friend of the opp. sex that a lot of us have, who we treat more than just two people, who’s seen your sh*t and has lived with you through it and has taken care of you always regardless.

But here’s where the real challenge. The game of expectations.

expecations

Born as humans in this generation, aren’t we always expecting something?
The question is why? and also what?

For some it could be a constant touch, maybe a conversation all the time round the clock? A bouquet and a box of chocolates everyday? Maybe a movie regardless of how busy one is just so you can be happy? Exchange of messages/calls every now and then, or be a gift that keeps on giving; a rich background…….basically anything that gives the feel good factor, but mind you, all materialistic. But picture a situation where either or all do not happen? Oops! The bond is finished, or almost there. It’s not working out right?

I’m sorry to say this, but you guys are just so lost in your candy-floss castle, that you fail to understand that maybe your true love was always around you, dressed as your friend, your gaurdian angel, but well…..you never kept those binoculars down. What you are looking for, is not happiness, rather just an infatuation. Gone are the days of the knights in shining armour.

In the midst of the self nurtured mental chaos of constantly trying to decrypt a simple bond between two people of the same/opposite sex, we are failing to understand that happiness was always around us, but well, we’ve all been brought up with the same dull-witted line programmed deep in our brains- “Why settle for the cobbler, when you can get the prince”.

heart-of-gold

Well take your pick- “the roses that are going to die or a heart of gold that will always shine regardless?!” 

 

 

 

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7 Replies to ““Roses or the heart of gold””

  1. This article gave a very good glimpse of the reality present in our society through which almost everyone of us has been through or are going thorough it right now. We as humans always tend to find happiness in all the wrong places (i.e. Different places, people, materialistic things, etc). Happiness is something which already exists within us and around us, The matter of fact is that we just don’t know it yet.
    Very Well Said. Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

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